


Milk

by Lilzy



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Embarrassed Kageyama Tobio, Gen, Hinata Shouyou is a Dork, Humor, I'm Sorry, Kageyama Tobio is a Dork, Lactose Intolerant AU, Milk, and daichi is done like always in my fics, basically Kageyama loves milk like canon but in this AU he shouldn't be drinking it, because it hurts him, hinata shouyou - Freeform, implied pooping, it's really not bad i promise he just gets stomach pains, just toilet humor honestly, kageyama tobio - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-06
Updated: 2016-08-06
Packaged: 2018-07-29 16:35:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7691788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilzy/pseuds/Lilzy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kageyama loves milk but his stomach does not</p><p>OR</p><p>Hinata is an idiot and doesn't understand stuff sometimes</p>
            </blockquote>





	Milk

**Author's Note:**

> I had this idea quite a few months ago and I finally got around to writing it. I'm sorry if someone out there was waiting for me to write more, I just have been putting more time into work and drawing. Also, sorry if I mess up on the tenses. I think I fixed it for the most part.

As a child, Kageyama Tobio ate and drank everything placed before him. He was always famished, especially when volleyball exhausted him of all that energy that came with adolescence. Every dinner was a spectacle; his parents learned to accept how he stuffed his face.

He had always loved milk. Of course, most children did, but Kageyama was an exception. The boy was obsessed. The first time the substance hit his lips and ran down his throat, he instantly craved more. As the years went by, bottles turned into milk boxes and glasses of the stuff. Day after day, year after year, he drank milk 10 times a day, on average. Twice a week he’d go to the convenience store to purchase more and before that his mother would go for him. He was unstoppable, until he wasn’t.

It happened gradually. The frequent bathroom breaks, his stomach feeling like death after he inhaled a milk box. Kageyama turned a blind eye. He blamed it on the weather. He had the flu. He ate uncooked meat. He had a cold. Diarrhea was a symptom of a cold, right? Either way, he ignored the activity that occurred in his stomach, even after how some days it would keep him bed ridden for hours. The fact that he did not understand why he always felt so sick was not really from his stupidity, but from his denial that something that brought so much joy also brought so much pain.

One morning, as per usual, Kageyama prepared his breakfast, a bowl of milk with very little cereal. It only took 3 bites to finish off the grains and get down to the good part. He brought the bowl to his lips and slurped the milk down. When it was all devoured, the bowl violently hit the table when he slammed it down. Of course, deep down he knew this was a horrible idea, but he chose to ignore it in favor of keeping his habit. He pondered no more and put the dish away. 

The way to school was uneventful, but the entire trek there he felt his stomach convulsing in pain. He knew an uncomfortable bathroom break was due soon, but he ignored it when he saw a messy mop of orange hair come into view. Without properly acknowledging his adversary, Kageyama sprinted, although his even strides made his stomach flip, swishing the contents around in a flurry. He could faintly hear Hinata yelling about the false start, but for once the setter did not retort. Hinata was quickly approaching him and the further they got, the more Kageyama felt the weight of his abdomen overtake him. His teeth grinded together in anguish as small tears formed in the corners of his eyes. He could barely see Hinata advancing towards the gym doors as his eyes watered.

A few moments passed and the shrimp cheered loudly. Kageyama slowed to a walk and felt weird as his the contents of his stomach shifted awkwardly. He chanced a quick glance toward the spiker and saw his ultimate nightmare. Hinata had beaten him and even worse, the restroom was calling Kageyama’s name.

“Yes, take that Kageyama. I win! That’s 51 wins to 50 losses for me.” Hinata whooped loudly in victory. 

Kageyama ignored the shorter boy and quickly swept past him. He pushed his way into the school and rushed down several hallways clenching his stomach in order to cope with the pain. Finally, he reached the restroom. The setter hurriedly locked himself in a stall and released his stomach’s contents into the white porcelain throne below.

Kageyama had no idea how long he’d been in there, but he had a terrible feeling that he was late to morning practice. He rushed back to the gym, worried that he missed part of the only thing he loved about school. In the clubroom, he quickly changed into his gym uniform and made his way down to the court. He sighed in relief when he noticed that practice had just started and he had not missed a thing.

“I apologize for being late, captain” he called to Daichi as he sat down to stretch. The older boy only nodded and focused his attention towards his own warm-up.

Kageyama sat down on the floor in order to stretch his arms and legs. His eyes shifted around the court, noticing his team members all looking at him. Of course, the others (especially Hinata) were interested on why the volleyball-for-brains setter was later to practice than usual. Tanaka and Noya inched their way to him, bottoms dragging along the floor in order to look inconspicuous if Daichi looked their way.

“So, where were you, oh little kouhai?” Noya sung while Tanaka grinned toothily. “Yeah, you’re never late. What’s the deal?” the baldy asked. With each word they scooted closer and closer to Kageyama, smiles growing wider and wider. 

Kageyama meanwhile, was struggling to hide his embarrassing blush, as if they knew he had just gone through hell in the restrooms not even 5 minutes ago. The setter decided to bend and stretch his arms to his toes in order to mask the redness of his face. Of course, he still felt the two second years were watching him closely. He was about to cave in and stop his persistent silence, but Daichi’s call to group up and work on receiving saved him.

When he leaned back to stop stretching, he felt his stomach uncomfortably churn. He ignored the impulse to clutch his stomach and managed to get up without too many weird looks from the others. They all knew he was weird, but today had been the most obvious occurrence in which weird didn’t seem right. 

Hinata practically bounced towards Kageyama, with a reluctant Tsukishima and Yamaguchi behind him. Kageyama swore he saw Daichi glaring at them until they had started to follow Hinata. The first years started bumping the ball back and forth over the net, a pair on each side. They were doing quite well, Kageyama thought, until Hinata started to linger closer to him as the club took their water break.

“Kageyamaaaaa, I heard the senpai’s asking you why you were late,” the shorty stated shifting his eyes towards the second years and back to Kageyama. “I know you didn’t tell them. But, as your senpai in life, you should tell me!” Hinata asked animatedly. When there was no response, the spiker shifted even closer and lurched on his tiptoes in order to get in his partner’s face.

Kageyama looked away, burning his eyes into Hinata’s water bottle. In the back of his mind, he hoped it would melt so the shrimp would focus all of these _caring feelings_ at something else. Because recently when Hinata was too personal with him, Kageyama felt like his own face was melting off and that was _not_ happening again. Also, he did not want a soul to know about what occurred in the restroom less than an hour ago. Normally, his troubling sickness would never get in the way of volleyball. Now that it had, his livelihood of not being teased relentlessly was at stake. So, hell no.

When Hinata appeared close to pressing the matter again, Kageyama closed his fingers around orange curls of hair and pulled upwards. He added an “it’s nothing _dumbass_ ,” for good measure and took a calm sip that deep down, was not so relaxed.

Of course, this tactic never worked. Hinata pulled out of his grasp and got more in Kageyama’s face. The setter was so surprised that the water still residing in his mouth slipped down his throat too fast. The choking started, mixing up his struggle to breathe with frustration over Hinata being too curious. Finally Kageyama was able to breathe, but the thought of Hinata pursuing this conversation pushed him over the edge.

Kageyama seethed and shouted, voice raspy, “I AM FINE, DUMBASS!” He took one angrier swig of his water and stomped out of the gym. But Hinata followed loudly and kept going on and on about how something _must_ be wrong or the setter wouldn’t be _having a_ _fit_ about it.

The rest of the club members have their mouths open in shock as they see the two first years leave. Tanaka looked about ready to punch someone, specifically the two idiots who just walked out, but Daichi put a hand on his shoulder and bided all of them to practice. It would work out, he hoped.

Meanwhile Hinata kept blocking everywhere Kageyama turned. The setter was feeling quite sick again, unfortunately. But Hinata kept stopping him from moving an inch further. He could feel the contents in his gut move lower and lower. _Oh god,_ Kageyama screamed inwardly. It would only get worse and worse; the uncomfortable gas would be next if he didn’t get the hell out of here.

The setter made a quick break for it, but Hinata jumped in his way and it caused Kageyama to stumble into him. Out of reflex he cringed and clutched his abdomen to hopefully soothe the stirring of his breakfast. Hinata, _goddammit_ , saw him. The way Kageyama’s usual smirk formed into a clenched teeth, frown showing pain and not indifference. Hinata saw it all. And he stopped holding out his arms like a barrier, retracting them completely.

The orange haired boy softly looked up at his partner with the shiniest sympathetic eyes he could muster and whispered. “Tell me.” Silence. Kageyama peered down at Hinata and instantly regretted all of his life choices, except for volleyball and milk. He would never.

The setter huffed as Hinata pouted. The glare mixed with the trembling lip was piercing to look at. _Does he practice?_ Kageyama wondered to himself, letting out a grumbling sigh.

“Fine, I’ll tell you but don’t laugh or I won’t toss to you for the next week,” Kageyama whispered quickly. Hinata nodded, as if the promise of no tosses was literally a weight on his head that his neck fought to hold up. Another beat of silence and the setter came closer and leaned in order to whisper out his dear little secret. Out of instinct, Hinata backed away, but Kageyama wrestled his fingers through the orange curls in order to hold the spiker still. The claw remained in his hair as the taller spat out, “I’m lactose intolerant and I had quite a bit of milk this morning.”

There was a pause before Hinata spoke. “Lack toss intolerant? Wait… YOU LOST THE ABILITY TO TOSS?”

Hinata seemed to be on the verge of tears as he got up in Kageyama’s face, again. He was rambling on and on about how Kageyama must keep fighting because how was he supposed to compete and try to win against Hinata if he can’t toss? Kageyama was so tempted to face palm, but the rumbling of his stomach told him to _hurry up_. So, Kageyama dashed around Hinata, sprinting to the restroom. There, he does the unthinkable and flushes. He exited the stall, coming face to face with _oh my gosh really Hinata go away_.

Kageyama made a beeline to the sink and washed his hands which wouldn’t stop shaking. He knew damn well what Hinata must have heard, even _smelt_ what left the setter’s body a moment ago. His face flushed red from his lower cheeks to the tips of his ears. He faced his partner, attempting to hide the blush by itching at his eyes unnecessarily.

Meanwhile, Hinata rolled on balls of his feet and rolled back to shift them up and down, obviously uncomfortable. He could tell that Kageyama was more than likely peeved that he continued to follow him into the restroom. Hinata gulped, waiting for a claw to lower and squeeze his cranium until brain juices spilt out. It never came.

Instead, Kageyama walked past him with his back turned away. He calmly declared, “don’t say a word, or no tosses for the rest of your life.”

Hinata felt the fight still in him so he shot back with “if you’re lack toss intolerant, you couldn’t toss to me anyway!” He scrambled to run after Kageyama, who was once again questioning his life choices for having a semi-friend like Hinata.

He saw why he had a semi-friend like Hinata the next day, when the spiker handed him a large carton of milk that had a light blue label with the words ‘lactose free’ on the front.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I made this story just for the stupid pun that Hinata probably will never udderstand. (Haha, gotcha again.)  
> Thanks for reading. This is dumb.


End file.
